”We tried very carefully to make sure this wouldn’t happen. Guests
were instructed not to take photos during the ceremony. We were very
particular about who was invited. It was a sad added bonus that most of
the guests from Nigeria were cancelled just 24 hours before the
ceremony.
”On July 30, I married a Nigerian man. Although he is very special to
me, he is not famous. He has never done anything to warrant so much
media coverage. We had a small ceremony under the leaves of some great
old trees on the lawn of an adorable little restaurant. My family and
our closest friends joined us.
Our vow exchange was only 30 minutes long. ”What followed was a day
of love, laughter, joy, eating, sore feet, and kids running circles
around the yard, and family and friends celebrating our day together.
We posted only a few photos to our Facebook pages and asked guests to
not post photos or mention our marriage. ” That night, we went out
dancing in a club with friends who stayed over.
The next morning, we decided to take some friends with us on the
first day of our honeymoon to see Niagara Falls. We were still enjoying
every moment of calling each other husband, taking photos, kissing in
front of the falls, getting sprayed at the Cave of the Winds, and
accepting well wishing texts from family and friends.
”Monday morning, I woke up early to return the rental car that we had
used for the weekend. When I returned, my husband was pacing and
crying, distraught, pointing to his phone.
Somehow, someone had either sold or given photos from our wedding and
first dance to one of Nigeria’s notorious gossip bloggers, who chose to
publish them on her blog.
Whether to out David and make a mockery or to somehow use it as
advocacy, no one knows. What we do know is that she had no permission
from either of us to use our photos or story. My husband calls me “the
fixer” for a reason.
I felt like I might be able to fix this before it got out of control.
I called my sister who is an attorney for advice. Given that the
information was posted on an international site, there was little we
could do.
My friends at Google and Blog-spot, and attorneys who are friends of
mine gave me the same unfortunate news. Mind you, this is all happening
at 6:30 a.m. on a Monday morning.
Friends from all over the USA messaged me as soon as I posted on my
Facebook for some assistance. ”I did contact the blogger directly via
email and asked that the photos of our wedding, of our trip with my
family, photos of our groomsmen, and direct quotes from my Facebook page
be removed. I quickly locked down the security on my Facebook, which
had been relatively open so that I could use it for advertising and
sales.
I never heard back from her. ”At 7:00 a.m. I got a call from my twin
brother, who is my best friend: J: Eric, which blog are you talking
about? Me: There should only be one. J: It’s already on at least a dozen
blogs.
”I had to tell David at this point that there was little I could do.
At the same time, his phone and my phone started to heat up with
Facebook messages from strangers condemning us for being gay.
His phone started to ring continuously from unknown Nigerian phone
numbers. ” I felt lost. I still get a terrible feeling in my stomach
just a week and a half later.
I hate being helpless. How could our tiny, personal wedding in
Rochester mean so much to hateful people on the other side of the planet
that they would find us on the Internet so they could harass us? ” I
worked as fast as I could, asking bloggers to remove our photos and
mention of us, but only one complied. By the end of the day, more than
150 sites had blogged about us. They were not saying anything overtly
mean for the most part.
The comments, on the other hand, mostly mentioned the “end of times,”
beheading us if we came to Nigeria, asking God to rain down evil upon
us, suggesting that we got anal cancer and die, calling us devils, and
threatening us in various other vulgar ways. Some people commented
positively, but they were in the minority.
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